he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
