I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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