Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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