David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
