The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
