Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
