my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
