I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
