I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
