I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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