some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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