I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
