i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
