The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
