He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
