Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
