Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood

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(631): View more from New York

I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.

(631): View more from New York

Cruelly.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.

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(714): View more from California

He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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(954): View more from Florida

He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?

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