Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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