I'm so fucking centered right now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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