Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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