Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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