I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
