Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
