My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
third nipple confirmed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
