Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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