oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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