i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
