yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
