I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
