i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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