I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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