:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
