Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
