if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
