In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
