i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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