Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
