i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize