I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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