bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
