she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
