yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize