Where did you get a picture of my penis
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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