Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
