What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
