Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
