What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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