talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
