she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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