The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
