so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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