i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We are two peas in an std pod
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
