i just sent this text using only my big toe
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
