My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
