the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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