dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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