Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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