we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
