I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
