Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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