If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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