You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
