Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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