I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
