I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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