This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
