elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
