yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
