I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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